The Lotus Eater by W. Somerset Maugham. We’ve studied it, we believe we understood it; but what is a lotus-eater?
In Greek mythology, the lotus-eaters were a race of people described in the Odyssey who lived in a drugged, indolent state from feeding on the narcotic lotus plant. But a lotus-eater is also a lazy person devoted to pleasure and luxury.
I sleep and awake at ungodly hours that I’m almost nocturnal. I spend hours online that it’s almost sinful. These are my drugs right now. There are many things that I think of trying out, but (being me), I (have to) analyse every pro and con.
Aikido: A lot of spiritual elements to it – harmony with the universe etc.
+ Dance: Other than being a good social tool, it’s physical. But jazz is just too expensive and salsa? HMM.
+ Hair-dressing: It’s a professional course, so it’s no joke when I say it’s expensive.
+ Erhu: My latest “might-do”. Despite being inept at Chinese-related things, I do have a deep fascination for Chinese culture and arts.
Perhaps the drug of being busy is something I crave for now. Yes, I know I have lamented about my current state of purposelessness non-stop possibly. But there’s more to this mental agitation that I know how to put in words, so I draw. And I noticed that all the people I draw seem depressed. Enough words, let the picture talk.
Living up to expectations never seem to end for me – school, work. My mind is just clouded with my boss’ possible perception of me. Perhaps he thinks I’m not up to par and inefficient. Every time the paper comes out, I can’t help but feverishly search for my article, and fret when I see my articles been edited heavily. It’s all unfounded worry, but it’s nerve-wrecking.